Voice... National Women's Health Week + Mental Health Awareness
Our greatest contribution to women's health is our voice. I get it. The idea of using our voice can be frightening and uncomfortable. However, it’s time we step outside of our passiveness and belief that someone else will take a stand on our behalf.
While it may seem my becoming a women's health and mental health advocate was happenstance the truth is it's a journey that began when I was five. When I was first thrust into the reality of domestic violence. Iit would be another year before my tiny subconscious became aware that rage and anger has its roots in mental illness. Then another year before I would suffer the incredible loss associated with mental illness with the suicide of my mother. It would all remain in tuck away in my subconscious for another three decades.
While I can recall two therapy sessions following my mother’s death (I was told there were more), outside of that her death was never discussed. Everyone moved on. I adopted that formula for my life. Don’t bow to pain, suffering or discouragement… tuck your chin and keep it moving. It worked until it didn’t.
It wasn’t until the perfect storm of my own life circumstances (A medical crisis here, another relationship failure here, an exposed moral collapse over there, career misstep here, a parenting mistake over there.) threatened my own mental health and wellbeing that I had to pay attention. To begin the deep excavation towards wellness.
Physically, I’d been dealing with heavy painful periods since my first when I was ten. I’d endured one surgery and was about to undergo another when my doctor voiced that another fibroid surgery was a waste of time. I in return used my voice to say no to a hysterectomy at that time and go ahead with the myomectomy (fibroid removal surgery). If I hadn’t I wouldn’t have Chunk , my now eight year-old son. (Whoa).
When my prescribing psychiatrist wanted me to “try another med” I declined. Yes, depression brought me here (to her clinic), but that was situational. I know what it looks like to you… I told her, but I’m no longer depressed. That’s past. She was a little pushy but I stood firm. There’s something else here other than depression, I’d like to explore it in another round of CBT can you refer someone?
During weekly sessions for fourteen weeks I and my lovely therapist worked on my anger. It was a game changer for me. I seriously feel like I have this new super power. Though she wasn’t a Christian therapist, I think she’s a believer. She had a kindness and empathy that radiated with her that I didn’t experience with the other two. I let her know that I felt the way for this to work for me would be to do the exercises through my faith lens. Though I made it through my first round of CBT with a different therapist, I believe it was less impactful because I wasn’t confident enough to use my voice to say listen my faith is important to me and I believe being able to apply it here will render the best results.
I didn’t realize how many things I was angry about before those sessions. I was able to explore the exercise in the context of what the bible says about anger.
Prior to those sessions the only emotion I knew how to wield was anger and the only action I knew how to take was to walk away. I’d mastered the art of getting gone when a situation required me to be more emotionally available than I was prepared for. Therefore, I found myself in a place in life that I wasn’t equipped to handle. A space that necessitated having difficult conversations, listening compassionately, and a willingness to be vulnerable and empathetic. Emotional skills that I didn’t have at the time.
Sometimes I briefly wonder what might have happened if I continued going from medication to medication. Shortly after CBT I was able to drop one of the meds I was taking and greatly reduce the other. As a result my blood pressure decreased and migraines ceased. All of this gave me confidence to dig in and research more about what could be causing the high blood pressure, some possible cures and how to maintain my newly found state of emotional health.
All of that course taking, studying, digging and researching has led me to this place. To not only be an advocate for my own health but to encourage you to be one one for yourself. It’s also fueled me with the desire and to commit the second half of my life to helping women who’re on the edge of growth not be derailed by physical and mental health challenges that tend to impair women beginning in their later 30’s, by going back to school in a few (or several) years I’ll be a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner (pray for me ya’ll). I don’t believe that’s a decision I would have arrived at so succinctly had I not taken the time to do the inner-work. Initially on this journey I mistakenly believed that I should go into ministry full-time. It took some sorting out to arrive at this place and when I did there were opinions and while there were many, there’s only One voice that matters above mine that that’s the Creator.
A huge part of discovering your voice is healing the discrepancies between your values, thoughts, goals, habits and actions in such a way that you’re able to gain clarity moving forward. With that clarity comes the ability to not only decide and discern what’s best for your life but to be able to communicate your decisions to those that matter most.
There’s power in your story. I’d be honored to listen. Schedule our complimentary no sales pitch Freedom Chat today. In the meantime…
Journey well,
