I'm Rashida B, founder of Hey, Daughter! I'm thrilled that you're here. I'm what most would call a serial entrepreneur. I've been 'preneuring since 2001. However, this is my greatest endeavor yet. I'm humbled that God would trust me and that the Holy Spirit guides me in this work. I didn't know it previously but He's been preparing me for such a long time.
You’re here because you’re at a cross-roads or in an unfulfilling place in your life and you're desperate for a change... for something new? You're tired of being tired, stressed about being stressed and depressed about being depressed? You believe God has something greater for your life?
Have you heard the adage that God is sovereign, or that God’s word will not return void, or the Sovereignty of God... Sounds like Christianese to you too?
Rashida B Hey, Daughter! Founder, dream awakener, shame slayer, serialpreneuer
To say I’m a bit obsessed with personality tests would be an understatement.
My at work DISC style is S/CD. My Strength Finders results indicate that my top five strengths, are ambition, curiosity, faith, self-motivation, and innovation. My Five-Fold Ministry result was, teacher (light giver), apostle ( or dream awakener), and prophet (or heart revealer). According to gifttest.com my top five spiritual gifts are, discernment, evangelism, faith, giving, and helps in that order. Temperament? The Trainer, otherwise know as Melancholy-Choleric. Myers-Briggs says I’m an INTJ. Enneagram I identify as Type 5W4.
However, the one that’s captivated me the most is the Enneagram. You see it’s not like all the others in that…
WRITE TWO SENTENCES about the enneagram here…
Stay with me, promise all of this is connected to God’s sovereignty and you. Yes, you. The meaning of Rashida is "rightly guided" in Arabic. Wise, knows her own way,
mature, of true faith. People with this name have a deep inner desire to inspire others in a higher cause, and to share their own strongly held views on spiritual matters and for harmony and balance in their lives. My grandparents wanted to name me Miriamu (we’ll discuss that name another time).
The common thread with all of these? Introverted learner-thinker-investigator-observer-always-in-my-head-type. If I can learn it then I can achieve it. All good things with the right heart. However, when I'm not leaning towards being more like Christ I put on airs and act all muchy-muchy and behave all suchy-suchy. Fortunately, (I say this with a thankful heart and grimace) the Lord humbles those who exalt themselves (Matthew 23:12).
And now the irony, My life verse is... Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
My innate inclination is to lean on my own understanding. My family's origin is Muslim, so I shouldn’t even be in Christian ministry. But, God! He's sovereign over all things.
My first memory in life was a frightening night when I was five years old. My mother died by suicide the month after I turned seven years old. That same day I fell head first out of a three story window, some unknown and unnamed stranger caught me before I tumbled to the concrete below. W know this because I’m alive and several people saw him catch me. But, no one saw him after that. Crazy right? There isn’t a whole lot that I remember between that day until around thirteen fourteen. The flashes that I do remember is a reminder of why they’re best forgotten.From that time until now so many things have happened. Let’s just say I’ve lived a pretty “full” life. I’ve been almost rich and almost poor. Had plenty and then barely any. Been over the moon happy, and wallowed in the muck of despair (more than a few times).
A lot of wrong decisions (sin) lead me to those dark places. Decisions I’ve made and decisions that others have made that have negatively impacted my life. My most recent time in the mire was the darkest longest period of my life. I remember thinking halfway through, I’d rather get run over by a bus today than have to wake up and do this again tomorrow. Please Sis, don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation. Having gone through and come out on the other side, I’m so grateful for that time. You rolled your eyes didn’t you? Oh, I get it. I’ve always found it trite when I’ve heard other Christians say that. It was beyond my comprehension that anyone would ever be grateful for pain and suffering. That math just didn’t add up for me. However, it’s true, there’s a profound love for the Creator in my heart that I’d never experienced before. I have a relationship with Christ that I didn’t know could exist. I hunger to know Him and read His word.
This time has also, developed in me an empathy for my sister’s on the journey that I didn’t have before. Because, mother-wounds.
Still wondering what this has to do with God’s sovereignty and you? Stay with me...
Christian love to quote Jeremiah 29 and Psalm 37:4 to people in turmoil or sorrow. Just for the record, I know you mean well. But don’t. At least not immediately.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”. - Jeremiah 29:11
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalm 37:4
Then when the bottom really falls out and you think God hates you, that’s when they hit you with… Romans 8:28.
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Intellectually, it’s not that hard to understand what sovereignty is. But what my head didn’t understand and my heart experienced is that God working things out for our good, doesn’t mean it’s going to feel good. The journey may end well, but the path will be partially covered with thorns.
Sometimes it will feel like He hates us, and is punishing us. Growing up, I thought my parents were nuts and it felt like they were overly strict, mean, spoilers of fun, bent on ruining my life. However, looking back I’m thankful for their guidance and discipline. God, also disciplines those He loves. (Hebrews 12:4-11)
Sister, whatever you’re going through right now, God is with you. He cares about. This is (even though i doesn’t feel like it right now) for your good. Turn your heart towards him and He will give you peace in this difficult time of your life.
That’s something I really wish I’d understood much sooner, rather than later. But, like the children of Israel, I bumped around in the darkness, in the valley, in the wilderness being rebellious, and grumbling a lot longer than I probably should have. (Numbers 14:2)
What would have helped me most during that time, were people who understood what I was going through. Talking to others dealing with depression, anxiety, anger, loss and the like. Just knowing that I wasn’t alone. Which is why I’m writing this letter to you, you’re not alone SisterFriend. I may not know your unique circumstances or you personally (yet). However, I see you. I hear you, I love you and I’m praying for you.
It’s difficult to speaking openly about what you’re dealing with and how it’s affecting your relationship with God, when you don’t even quite understand the season you’re in. You don’t want to give voice (at least publicly) to something you’re unsure of. Because, not only do we have to deal with mental health stigma, we get faith stigma heaped on top of that. You’re ______________ (fill in what you’d like) because you’re not reading your bible enough, going to church enough, praying enough, and you’re sinning too much. That’s how you got where you are. Who wants to be jeered at while they’re suffering? No one. So we hide. And lie. To them. To ourselves. “I’m fine. Praise the Lord. Hashtag blessed”. When the reality is that we’re dying on the inside Sis. Dying to be heard, dying to me seen, dying to be known, dying to be loved for who we are. Just the way we are. Brokenness and all.
I so needed a safe place to be free to openly explore and discuss what was going on with me what the impact was on who I really am, who I am in Christ and what that means for my life. So instead of sitting around thinking about it, I felt led to create one. That’s how Hey, Daughter! was born. It’s been a two and a half year process. First, I had to “finish” the work on myself. Or, at least get to a healthy place, because this journey doesn’t end until Christ returns.
If I’ve learned anything in the recent months following the #metoo movement is that there are many people suffering in silence all over the world for many reasons. That includes Christian women. Being a Christian doesn’t exempt us from suffering, depression, or anxiety, just like trusting in the Lord doesn’t mean pretending like life isn’t hard.
Sis, whether you’re here looking for community, at a crossroads in your journey, or you’re ready to stop compartmentalizing your life and walk holistically in your faith you’ve come to the right place.
Rev. Samuel T. Lloyd III in a talk in 2008 used the story of Nicodemus (and a pebble, rock, and brick) in the bible to demonstrate how God gets through to us, and draws us to Him. Yet, most of the time we don’t hear Him because we’re too busy being competent, other times we simply don’t expect it (God’s calling) in the form it comes so we miss it. Or, we feel the tug and we’re afraid the change will require too much from us so we shy away from it. He goes on to say however, that God is relentless in His pursuit of his chosen people therefore when God throws a brick, “anything can happen, the wind blows the spirit moves, people start getting born above into whole new lives… A personal crisis can send you reeling right into the hands of God”
If you can just for a second wrap your head around a few truths, God is relentless in the pursuit of His daughters. God wants to, and will cause everything to work out for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. He sees you (Genesis 16:13). That He hears you (Psalm 34:15). That he loves you (John 3:16).
He's the only One that can restore, redeem, strengthen, heal, and mend our broken, doubting and wounded hearts.
He never meant for us to go through our trials alone. You deserve a community to be there to encourage you.
Hey, Daughter! Cooperative and Cohort, is a culmination of my experiences journeying to recover my faith and joy in valley. It’s a mirror of the grace and love shown to me by others during that time. It’s what I wish I’d known when sisters close to me were going through, I did a lot of things wrong. Even still, I believe God’s sovereignty has lead me here. He chose for me what I wouldn’t have chosen for myself, and I’m all the more blessed because of it. Thanks to grace and the divine guidance of the Holy Spirit, professional training, tons of learning, and a trial and error I’m thrilled to share HDC with you.
My deepest desire is that you will become holistically healthy, re-ignite (or cultivate) a thirst for Christ Jesus, a hunger for the Word of God, and a yearning for intimacy with the Holy Spirit.
I believe that as you do, you will begin to uncover your true identity in Christ. That you’ll become more aware of God’s purpose for your life, and begin to live it more abundantly.
Sister, I want you to know (and experience) that there is hope and joy. Today. You don’t have to wait until _______ (insert your challenge there) is over. He, and only He can cause you to prosper in the middle of your mess. (Genesis 41:51-52).
While I believe that HDC can be used as a valuable tool, on this odyssey of ours, more important than that is that it is used for His glory.
If You’re Ready To Start The Journey Towards Real Change...
And, you’d like the support of a trusted community founded on biblical principals…Then I encourage you to join HDC. And, when you’re ready to go deeper and explore who you are in Christ, discover how God has been with you all along (even in your darkest times), working in your life, and how your story is a part of His bigger story, you're invited to apply to join a Hey, Daughter! Cohort, or maybe I’ll see you on retreat.